As women, we have more power over our personal finances than we think we do. We just need to own that power. We may not be able to change the gender wage gap overnight but if each of us take constructive steps to increase our own power and knowledge around the subject of money, and teach our daughters, nieces, and granddaughters to do the same, the wage gap will be a relic of the past.
A Week in the Life: The Gild Collective Workshop Experience
What are the benefits of a women’s initiative workshop?
Responding to Women’s Initiative Pushback
We’ve heard just about everything when it comes to the perceptions of women’s initiatives within organizations. We’ve seen organizations where all employees are bought-in—they see the value, and they have both men and women participating in driving equality in the workplace. But, we’ve also seen organizations where there is women’s initiative pushback, or a lack of understanding on what the purpose of the initiative is and the goals it is trying to reach.
Before Convincing Employees that Women’s Initiatives are Worth Their Time, Convince Their Leaders
Busy. Overwhelmed. Buried under work. Treading water. Barely surviving.
These are phrases that we hear our friends (and ourselves) use on a regular basis when we discuss our jobs. When we combine the stress we feel at work with our personal responsibilities outside of the office, it can often feel like too much to juggle. More organizations than ever are trying to serve their female employees through women’s initiatives, many of which aim to help tackle the constant state of “overwhelmed” that many women are stuck in. These initiatives have the best intentions, and even call in outside resources to plan amazing programming for their female workforce. However, organizers still tell us that one of their biggest challenges in getting women engaged is convincing them that women’s initiatives are worth their time– time that, as we know, is a precious and limited resource.
Three Signs it is Time to Break Up With Your Mentor
If you are developing purposeful mentor relationships and giving a bit of structure to them, there should also be a structure in place for knowing when it is time to wrap up the ‘formal’ part of your agreement. We know this person has become important to you over time, and they certainly don’t drop out of your life—it may just be time to free up your time (and theirs) for a more beneficial relationship for your next challenge.
Goal Update: Time Management
I believe goal updates like this one are so important. Sometimes we fall into a pattern of seeing someone else’s posts or goals and assume that the road to achieving them is easy. The reality for me is that something that seems small—taking control of my time—has a huge impact on my well-being and sanity, but it doesn’t come without its own bumps in the road. Whatever your challenge is… keep going!
Women's Initiatives: How to Start A Women's Initiative
If you’re new to this series, you may want to check out our recent posts about women’s initiatives: What Are They? and When Do You Need a Women’s Initiative? before digging in here. If you already know that your organization needs to…
What Matters to Women in the Workplace: Communication, Leadership Development, and Unconscious Bias
Bringing Passion Together: The Women’s Initiative Roundtable
Women’s Initiatives: When do you need a women’s initiative?
Women’s Initiatives: What are they?
A women’s initiative can go by many names—a women’s group, a women’s network, a women’s employee resource group, affinity group, or a company-branded network name. While different names may mean slight variations in structure, they all have the goal of bringing together individuals (yes! both women and men) in an organization.
What I'm Reading: Feminist Fight Club
Mentorship Ground Rules for Eradicating Eye Rolls
I strongly believe in the power of having key mentors to guide and support you through this crazy life. By following these ground rules, we can show the impact that purposeful, time-sensitive, sometimes unexpected, but overall done-right mentorship relationships can have. Maybe we’ll even win over a few eye-rollers in the process!
Be Bold for Change
International Women’s Day is a global day celebrating the social, economic, cultural and political achievements of women. The day also marks a call to action for accelerating gender parity.
This day has been recognized since the early 1900s and gives humans everywhere the opportunity to focus on unity, celebration, and action. This year’s theme—Be Bold for Change—is a critical push to work towards purposeful collaboration. Collaboration that will challenge unconscious bias, encourage women and girls to go after the highest levels of their goals, and create a more inclusive culture for all.
He Said, She Said: “Pretty Little Girl”
Many times when we talk about sexism, we talk about the subtle versions of it—the one’s where you walk away wondering, “was that…?” But in Julie’s case, there is no room to question, and we commend her for not only recognizing it immediately, but responding in a way that gave the offender pause. Julie, we can’t thank you enough for your passion for equality and your ability to demand the respect you deserve. Keep fighting the good fight.
Why Your Resolution “Failure” is an Opportunity for True Success
Photo by Mizuno K
New Year’s resolutions have been around for awhile. 4,000 years, to be specific. Ever since the Babylonians started making promises to their gods in exchange for a favorable year, we have been making deals with ourselves that in the new year we will be different- that we will be “better”. We have had 4,000 years to get really good at making New Year’s resolutions, and still only about 8% of us actually stick to them.
In fact, we are only three days into the second month of this “new year” and already I have heard several friends say that they have “given up”. I even had a friend describe herself as a “complete failure” because she hadn’t kept her resolution to go to the gym four times a week so far this year.
Sure, not achieving a goal that you have set for yourself is frustrating, and it’s natural to feel dejected. Just like anytime we are feeling like we have failed, we have a choice: we can let the feeling of failure overcome us and become a part of who we are, or we can objectively examine our situation and use it as yet another opportunity for self improvement.
If you find yourself feeling like you have failed on your quest for self-improvement in 2017, I would encourage you to ask yourself these few questions:
Why did I “fail”?
Let’s talk about the friend I mentioned earlier that feels like a “complete failure” just weeks into the new year. I asked her why she thought she had “failed” and she responded that she had only made it to the gym four times in a week once so far. At the time, she only had three weeks of data (out of the 52 that make up a year). When I reminded her that she still had 49 weeks to improve her score, it didn’t seem to help at all. She had already resolved herself to be a “complete failure” just three weeks in.
So, I tried another approach. I began to ask her, as I suggest that you do with yourself, what she had been doing over those three weeks. It turns out that things had really picked up at work in the new year (as they often do) and she had been working 11 hour days. On top of that, she had also been sick with a terrible cold. She didn’t feel as though she could take off work, so she was exhausted when she got home from work and opted for sleep rather than early morning workouts.
In other words, she absolutely hadn’t “failed” at anything. At all.
Is what I resolved to do something that will actually make me “better”?
At the end of December, Bustle surveyed 822 millennials (97% of which identified as female) how they feel about New Year’s resolutions. The results showed that millennial women overwhelmingly focus their resolutions in two areas: to lose weight and exercise more, and to become a better, happier person.
Based on my experience as a woman for the 29.5 years I’ve been alive, I can say with certainty that many women equate the ideas of losing weight to becoming a better, happier person. And while I am a proponent of exercise for many reasons, I also believe strongly that the association between “thinness” and “happiness” is one of the biggest issues plaguing women today.
So, ask yourself- is what you resolved something that will actually make you “better”? If your reasoning behind exercising more or focusing on eating healthy foods is to improve your mood, sleep, or overall quality of life, then yes- that counts as “better”. But if all you want is to fit into smaller jeans, I can tell you from personal experience that you will never be good enough.
Would you make that resolution for your best friend?
Perhaps the most powerful statistic that came from Bustle’s survey was the answer to their question: “What New Year’s resolution would you make for your best friend?”
Source: Bustle
Ask yourself this same question. Was what you resolved for your friend the same thing you resolved for yourself? Was it even in the same “resolution family”? According to Bustle, only two women of the 822 surveyed reported that they would want their friend to lose weight in 2017. In fact, most women want their friends to practice self care, be kinder to themselves, to go after what they want at work, and to stand up for themselves.
New research tells us that women often fight for others harder than they do themselves at work. We also know how much easier it can be to tell our friends they are special, beautiful, smart, and strong than it is to tell ourselves those same things.
But isn’t that what New Year’s resolutions are all about? Making ourselves better? If your resolution for your friend is kinder than the one you have for yourself, it might be time to change your thinking. You haven’t failed because you didn’t keep your resolution. You have only failed by choosing the wrong resolution at the beginning.
It’s no longer January 1- who cares? Now is as good a time as any to resolve to be better. Be better to yourself, kinder to yourself, and more forgiving with yourself. New year, new you- and you deserve it.
If you’re interested in spreading confidence and self-love with the women you work with, let us know.
Goal: Make Time My Friend Again
Over the past year, I have consistently felt overwhelmed by the amount of things I needed to tackle in a day. It has been as though each day suspiciously gets 5 minutes shorter, and I am unable to finish my perpetual to-do list.This is no way to live.
So I am trying to identify some ways to better manage my time—a skill that I feel like I once had, but has now escaped me as my plate has become more full. This is not a guide on how to do it right, but rather, a look into my attempts at course correcting.
He Said, She Said: “I Think We Pay You Enough”
This story highlights so many of the challenges (and disappointments) that come up time and time again in our workshops—a lack of awareness of what is offensive, inappropriate, and even illegal. I am so impressed by this woman and her ability to call out her boss, with whom she had a great relationship, to point out the fact that she was being treated differently based on her gender. Bringing this awareness to the forefront of someone’s mind is a huge step in the right direction toward equality. I also know that the practice of demanding to be respected and treated equally is just that—a practice. One we can and should all continue to work on, push for, and remember each and every day.
He Said, She Said: Frankie’s Story, On the Set
Through our new blog series, He Said, She Said, we’ll be telling your stories. We aim to highlight the (mostly) unintentionally biased language that is often used in the workplace towards women. These are real stories from professional women about their everyday working relationships with their male counterparts.
6 Life Lessons Learned From Leslie Jones’ Success Story
“I’m not perfect, but I’m starting to get comfortable, like a sweater you want to wear all the time.” — Leslie Jones
If the name Leslie Jones doesn’t ring a bell, don’t think twice before checking out the newest Ghostbusters movie which debuted in July, a comical film from ‘98 called Wrongfully Accused, or even better — take a reach into her archives on Saturday Night Live to find Jones at her best, making laughter happen.
However, life isn’t always so laughable as an African-American woman navigating a rather-segregated, predominantly-male career field. Ms. Jones never ceases to inspire us with her blustering courage and vibrant originality, revealing how being a badass with passion can get us places in life.
1. It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.
“People get hung up on writing smart shit. To me, it’s more about performance.” — Leslie Jones
Of course it’s important to know the material before presenting or performing, but often times we become hyper-concerned with having the hardest-hitting line or most intelligent response. In reality, confidence is key and an honest remark can go a long way. If we believe in what we say, others will be compelled to jump on board too.
As comedian Marc Maron said in an article featured in The New Yorker, “She has a presence, when you see her live, that is extremely rare and honestly, it has very little to do with what she’s saying. The first time I saw her, I was blown away, and yet I couldn’t tell you a single one of her jokes.”
2. Closed mouths don’t get fed.
To achieve our dreams, we must let go of our fears and whatever is holding us back. Believe it, feel it, live it and SPEAK UP. Ask for help when necessary, the worst they can say is no (and many times, they won’t).
A fellow ‘80s comic who was far beyond Jones’ comedic status when they were both touring in the late in the decade, Chris Rock, saw her perform live again in 2012 after her initial impression nearly 30-years before.
As recorded in Ready For Prime Time, Rock told Jones after her show, “You were always funny, but you’re at a new level now.”
Jones boldly and with direction responded, “You’re right,” she said. “But I’m not gonna really make it unless someone like you puts me on.”
Rock appreciated her audacity and took a chance on Jones, adding her to his list of funny people. Soon after, Jones’ name began to fill the comedy scene of Los Angeles.
3. Know your audience.
What sells one person may turn another away. It helps to feel out the audience before making bold propositions. Seek to understand their personal values and mentalities. Modify your tone and argument accordingly, then speak with mindfulness and purpose.
“I can look into a person’s eyes for one second and go, ‘Don’t fuck with him — that’s somebody who won’t get over what you’re about to say’,” Jones told Andrew Marantz.
4. The path to success is not always linear.
Just after her decision to leave college and pursue comedy, Jones ran into a writer’s block and found herself struggling to develop new sets. After pondering friendly advice, Jones daringly took a 6-year leave from performing. In the meantime, she took up work as a cook, a cashier, and as a waitress.
“I was the funniest waitress Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles ever had,” she said in an interview with Marantz. “Customers would be, like, ‘Didn’t I just see you on BET?’ I’d be, like, ‘Yep. Breast and a wing or leg and a thigh?’”
Sometimes straying from the beaten path can help us gain other practical life experiences. In whatever we do, we will find lessons within the journey. Jones’ hiatus gave her time to experience life from a new perspective and develop literature from those experiences. Eventually, her divergent path enriched her career by bringing her to a new opportunity with BET’s “Comic View”.
Life’s a journey — embrace every opportunity with an open mind.
5. Don’t let them steal your sunshine.
After the premier of Ghostbusters in July, Jones was faced with extreme hate tweets which pushed her to leave the Twitter-verse. Online trolls sent racist comments along with pornographic images and heartless memes as described in The New York Times.
“You have to hate yourself to put out that type of hate,” Jones tweeted in response to the harassment. “I mean on my worst day I can’t think of this type of hate to put out.”
Jones has experienced many racist and sexist slurs for the better part of her career. In late July, Entertainment Weekly reported Jones’ strive for peace in the face of negativity — choosing to send out love and positivity with “hug someone”:
“Hurting people hurt people. Most of these people I don’t think they believe in the stuff they say. It’s just a lot of hurt, hug someone. We have to start there. So I won’t answer the trolls with hate anymore just love. And then block and report they ass lol. Won’t do hate anymore.”
6. Love always; love yourself.
Jones told The New Yorker that though she still has extended family in Memphis, her mother, father, and brother all died within the past few years.
“When death touches you that close, you say to yourself, ‘It’s time to start liking who the fu** you are,’ ” she said. “I’m not perfect, but I’m starting to get comfortable, like a sweater you want to wear all the time.”
After 25-years of building her confidence and career, Jones has made it through every trial and tribulation by staying true to herself, believing in her dreams and taking badass, courageous leaps which opened doors leading to her undying vision of success.
Whatever we decide to be, let us be that well. Let us follow our dreams, be audacious, free our spirits and define ourselves.